Sunday, February 8, 2009

5 day bender

So i drank from tuesday to saturday. i will skip tuesday to friday because it consists of me drinking 40s or whiskey from noon to midnight and then wandering back to my dorm where i pass out and then go back to kristis or whoevers and drinking more. Saturday though was a bit different.

I have a girl from germany and my friend alicia from boston with me and on friday germany slept at some guys house, so at 11am me and alicia came back from my dorm and go to kristi's. I start drinking as soon as i get there. im about 4 40s in by 6 or 7 and i start to slow the drinking down. i dont want to to get too drunk to fast, theres a party in brooklyn. We go next door and kristi's neighboor dani is getting ready. she walks into the kitchen and goes, Anthony, would you like to take a shot with me. I dont think ive ever jumped up that fast. i flew to the kitchen and got shotted. this happened again a few minutes later. at about 10 or so kristi goes to retrieve her wine from teh freezer. oh no. its broken. i attempt to put the frozen wine into a pot to melt and be drank (were poor), but seeing as there is no bottom to the bottle it all falls out over my shoes and the floor. oh no. lauren hates me. so i clean it up and we start walking to the subway. it is at this point that i realize, im wasted. how did that happen. i have to run to catch up with the group. we arrive in about 15 minutes and i sit on the stair and start drinkign while waiting for the train. a few minutes later i start humming smash mouth. so does the kid in front of me. so i start singing it. a few seconds later all 8 of us are screaming smashmouth. Yeah i started that.

So train ride over, kristi goes,
'i like that shirt." to which i reply,
"i like that cardigan".
Can i have the shirt?
can i have that cardigan?
I like that jacket.
i like THAT jacket.
can we switch jackets?
so now that i am in a cardigan and fur hooded jacket, i take a couple swigs of my 40. Were loud. by we i mean me and kristi. were trashed. We arrive at the party a few minutes later and i realize that my bestie heather is there. Awesome.
So me and kristi and lauren and alicia and germany go into the back room to smoke. within 15 minutes kristi (who had been standing next to me. Starts to pass out. i catch her and hold her up. Then i sit her down in a bean bag chair and sit next to her. Awesme baby sitting time! after a conversation with a drug dealer, a girl named betsy comes over with a sharpie and smile. OH HEEEEEEEEELL NO.

You can draw on my before you draw on her.
Shes passed out, dont you dare draw on my kristi!

so i let her draw a dick on my face. Its called chivalry and gallantry thank you very much.

Guess what happened next...because your guess is as good as mine. the next thing i remember im in line for the bathroom and heather is saying theres no toilet paper, so i go on a hunt for toiloet paper for her. i cant find any but i did find a brown bag. so that was good enough. I went in next and made my self puke a little. just to make me feel better.

i put on afro man and everyone dances and cheers. yay! i see dani drinking whiskey straight from the bottle and decide that she is the most badass and intimidating woman i have ever met. I get a call from heather telling me to elt her in. I sheepishly say ok and inform her that i dont remember walking in and so i dont know how to get downstairs. after a few minutes i figure it out and retrieve her from the cold.

after an uneventful hour or so, lauren decided it was time to leave so we walk kristi up (it was difficult) and head back. we get on the train and me and lauren try to run down the car. Lauren knocks me over and i hit my shin. thanks lauren!

we got off the train and go to soup and burger. ive got a dick on my face, the place is packed, we smell like a walking bar. kristi offers to buy me food so i get a burger. Paying for the food is fucked up and kristi loses 60$ on the deal. anyways. as were leaving someone taps me on the shoulder.

Dude is it like national draw dicks on faces day?
no. i was saving my frirnd from getting drawn on.
oh cause youre like the 2nd person ive seen with a drawn dick on their face tonight.
well it is saturday.......

i dont remember the subway ride back to my dorm but i do know that at noon ish the next day, me and alicia went back down to kristis fro breakfast and i wanted to die. i was wearing tiny short shorts and my sunglasses. at one point i got up form the table and pushed between people near the door saying. excuse me, im going to go die. thanks.

Im real classy and grown'd up.

drinks : 5 40s, 2 shots of whiskey, half a bottle of wine, shot of german liqour about 20 drinks
drunk level: 9.5 out of 10

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i'm pretty sure that you're a genius for deciding to keep track of your drinking adventures..